[2016 - Journal] August

8/18/16 -

So, it is now the end of the day; another has come and gone. In fact, it'll be the 2nd very soon, (big surprise).

Today was relatively quiet, again. My depression hit me like a tok of bricks, and I spent a lot of the day in bed. Except for the drive back to the apartment, that is. When I got back, things had nkt changed. My roommates are still asshats, but what else is new?

I messaged Damien again today, and he responded (which he doesn't usually do). And he allowed me to vent a lot of what I've been holding in lately, and he listened intently...which was a lovely change of pace. I keep crawling into my head too often these days.

But now that I think about it, I did go out for a short time to shop with Sean. I bought myself a little Tiffany lamp Christmas tree, because I thought it was adorable. You know I'm always wishing for the holidays around this time of year..though to be honest, I haven't done that much this year. I don't really want the holidays to come around xD!

But, regardless, the tree is adorable. And it made me happy~ though I can't keep it lit for very long. I'm afraid it'll start a fire.

Anyway, but my main reason for writing this, is so you have something to read when the nights get lonely for you. I know it'll only be until you go home again, but that's okayx3! Your time in Europe will fly by in no time.

Just remember, Makayla..you're strong. Stronger than you know. It takes guts to travel, especially so far for the first time. You're enjoying yourself, and you are experiencing something not many can afford to experience in their life time. You have people who love, and care about you..even if some nights it doesn't seem like it.

Remember to take deep breaths, snuggle under those blankets and count. You can always count my name again. Breath in, and out with each letter..so take it slow. Try not to get up into your head space too much. You're amazing, I hope you realize that....and you deserve to be happy. So, be happy, darling~! Okay? Are you smiling now? You better be! SMILEEEEEE!!!!...good girl

8-2-16

I decided to create another entry while you're sound asleep. I hope you got to sleep okay! I'm sure you did, you sounded exhausted after yesterday! 100 degree weather is really warm ><! Just close your eyes, and you'll know what Floroda feels like xD!! It'll be 105 tomorrow.

Thank you so much for your advice tonight, about baby sitting Izzy. It helped, and having you tell me to calm down really helped.

It was also really nice to hear from you again. And I'm so happy my earlier entry made you smile. I felt like I was talking to the woman I knew 6 months ago. You seemed..happier than you have been recently. I don't know what it was..but you had so much life on you tonight. I teared up! I just love it when you're happy. And it seemed like you were tonight. Genuinely happy. And for the record..id give you the biggest hug ever!! XD!!!

I wanted to also remind you how amazing you are....you are doing so so well. You're incredibly brave, in my opinion. You have nothing to worry about. Just keep on keepin' on for me, love. You can do this! Just know, if you ever need me..I'm right here. And I'm so proud of you. I now you'll say I have nothing to be proud of...but I do. You're..doing so much. And you ..just do. You make me proud...you always have! XD even if you killed someone--..well..I wouldn't be happy about it! But I'd still be proud? Please, don't kill anyone xD!!!


Just remember. You have people who love you, and only want you to succeed. Because you will! You'll always succeed. If you're reading this, and you can't sleep? Then tuck yourself under the covers. Ignore that cot! And take deep breaths. Count for me. And know that you're doing something amazing. It's hard, but that makes it even more amazing. You'll be home in no time!

Now, I asked this last time..so, il ask it again. Are you smiling? If not then..take your time. I'll wait. Smile..come on xD! Smillleeeee!! Good girl. You deserve to always smile :3.

P.S. it's not the next day yet! Hurray for entries submitted in time! Also, wtf was I thinking? That last entry I marked 8/18?? Idk xD but there ya go. Sleep well!