Falling Off the Wagon {1/9/15}

I have fallen off the wagon! But not to worry XD I am climbing right back on. I didn’t do anything but my stretching last night. I had to pry myself out of bed to even brush my teeth last night OTL I didn’t do any classwork, I didn’t work out, I didn’t even drink enough water >.< I barely managed to eat enough food.

I’m disappointed in myself but I have to take the good with the bad. I did make a counseling appointment, I did make it to the dentist this morning and even though I had nightmares, I did make it to bed before 11~ Plus, no matter how “just barely” it was, I did manage to eat the proper amount of food ^.^

Today after work I need to take a shower, I find that it’s getting hard to make time for the smallest things >.< I’m always thinking about things I’d rather be doing. But as I settle into the schedule everything will begin to fall into place. When I’m busy, when I have time to do things, when I should shower, when I should shave, things like that <3

Mn even though I only had the rubber dam in for a short amount of time at the dentist today my jaw is sore T.T Eating crunchy things is hard, but it should get better soon. My gums are also raw and a bit swollen from all the numbing shots they gave me… Guh, I hate the dentist. I really really do.

My nightmares last night were awful. You know how sometimes if you forget to brush your teeth you feel like you have tooth sweaters? Well I had those on my teeth except you could see them in big huge patches and they were this yellow-brown color >.> And my gums were inflamed and it was just completely disgusting. And I remember thinking that I could just brush the sweaters off but my teeth were rotting… It was just fucking gross OTL I’ll stop there.

But it is over(?) for now at least. I don’t have to think about the dentist for a while. Mnn but I will continue to take very good care of my teeth. Good teeth are important to me and I really wish I didn’t keep getting cavities Q.Q It makes me feel gross, like I’m unhygienic. I hope you don’t see me that way! I promise! My teeth may not be perfection but they’re clean and they’re not yellow! And they’re fairly straight… They hygienist even asked if I had ever had braces >.<

Uhg, anyways. Just know that I brush my teeth twice a day and have even started flossing every night :I

I’m so excited because I’m getting close to my goal for my savings for your visit! Just a little more and I’ll have more than the amount I’ve budgeted for ^.^ Anyway, thats just a random nugget of information I’ve been excited about~

Mnn this week has been a little rough on us >.< But I’m excited to get past it! I hope we can do it soon~ You’re my everything and I don’t like it when we’re off! It makes me uneasy~

Anyways darling I suppose this is starting to get long. I just wanted to jot down how I’m doing today and my utter failure to do anything productive last night XD

I love you forever and always!
Makayla