A New Year Awaits {12/31/14}

I met you in July of 2012~ We’ve seen the end of 2012, the end of 2013 and now the end of 2014 together. More importantly, we’ve seen the beginning of so much more than that. Three years ago, you could have told me that every end is a new beginning and I would have rolled my eyes at you. But today… I want to remind you of that.

When we met… It was the end of a part of our lives. For both of us, it was the end of being abused. And the beginning of a long, long road to recovery that neither of us can see the end of yet. And thats okay, because it’s also a road that we’ve been walking together, step by step, making sure neither of us falls when we stumble.

When you made a move that holiday season in 2012, when we jumped beyond very comfortable friends to very awkward lovers… That was the end of your relationship, and the end of my searching. I don’t even know what I’d been looking for. But I’d found you after I gave up… I think it made everything more genuine. Neither of us were looking, our affection for one another blindsided us both.

I was really broken. I didn’t feel as if I was worth much, especially not worth someone like you. But you never once took advantage of that. Even when you could have. You called me your girlfriend on March 3rd of 2013 and I remember exactly where I was. I was sitting on my floor, organizing journals and notebooks, flipping through them… And you called me your girlfriend.

It was both shocking and completely natural. I wanted nothing more than to be your one and only… And the way you just nonchalantly said it… It showed me that I always had been. That I had never been a joke or a game. I was never one of many. You weren’t playing this game with anyone. It was all genuine. That clicked for me then. Everything you said or did… It was because you loved me.

I would be extremely hard pressed to remember the first time we ever said “I love you”. But I think thats because, like everything else, it was amazingly natural. We transitioned from saying it as friends to saying it as lovers.

But let me say it again, I love you, Salem. More than I have ever loved anyone. And you still give me butterflies. You always.. You will always make me feel like the most important girl in the world. You make me feel special. You make me proud to be who I am, you make me want to get better.

It is now about to be January of 2015 and you know what? This year is the beginning of something big. If we let it be. Our first visit, meeting each other's families, maybe a move… I don’t know what this year will hold, but I’ll go into it one step at a time… And I’ll be happy with whatever happens, as long as I can hold you hand.

You’re my new beginning and my happy ending Salem Parris~ I hope you know that all I ever want is for you to be happy.
I want you to go read the journal entry labeled 4/10/14 if you can. Because I feel like its a reminder that we need right now… I feel like we’ve been stressed. And thats from a time when the stress was finally ending. I just reread it and it gave me a lot of peace…

Goodness we’ve come a long way… I hope you know that I will alway love you.

Your songbird, Makayla